after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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