Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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