I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize