Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm at about main and main street
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
