Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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