I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
