Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She's just so happy...and so naked.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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