Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Randomize
