Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
