yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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