he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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