I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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