i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
