By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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