just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize