dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
