Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
