Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
God, I missed his penis.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
