It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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