escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
