you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
