these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
