She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
