At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize