is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
