We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize