my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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