Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Randomize
