yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
