DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!