My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
