I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
