There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
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I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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