so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
