I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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