Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize