is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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