Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
