remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
