the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
