we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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