Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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