I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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