I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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