I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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