Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
