Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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