so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
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Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
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I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I came so hard my ears popped.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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