I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
