I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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