im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
