Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
