I'm lost and stupid without you.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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