i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
