The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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